Tues, Dec 1: Trimester

– Tuesday marked my third month of living in New York. Holky fuck.

It’s actually gone by very, very slowly. Every day feels like its own little lifetime. I think it’s because I’m alone a lot more than I’ve ever been before. I have to keep myself company, which I accomplish via an ongoing internal conversation with myself. Imagine having to listen to me talk about my opinions and observations all day forever. Time would slow way down for you, too.

I bet my feeling of living here is similar to studying abroad, though I never went myself. You exist somewhere long enough that there’s a degree of comfortability, but you’re still on the outside looking in. It’s not home yet. How does a place become a home? Because it has to.

Winter might shift my perspective once I’m holed up and driving myself insane, but I’m reasonably sure now I made the right decision to leave Chicago. I feel a sense of belonging in New York that I’ve never felt before, at any time of my life. It’s hard to write about this stuff and not sound like a dick. But it’s true. And, that said, I’m desperately excited to see my friends and family in 10 days.

– Tuesday was actually pretty shitty. It rained, but I was tired of my apartment so I went into work, only to find the internet was down. The internet was down because my company forgot to pay its internet bill. So I sat around drinking coffee for an hour and cursing under my breath and then I went home. After work I went to the pizzeria and got two slices, even though I know two slices is too many and it makes me sick. I was very sick. It’s just so good. I may have to adapt my new cigarette plan to work with pizza. The new cigarette plan goes like this:

  1. I can smoke as many cigarettes as I want;
  2. After I finish a pack, I have to wait a week to buy another

I think it’s genius.

After pizza I read The Bell Jar for awhile, which I’m enjoying even though it feels very YA. Then I brought some beer over to Amanda’s. We were supposed to watch a movie, but I refused to watch her copy of Scream 4 on a scratched DVD and she didn’t want to watch anything else, so we just talked. I left at 11 to get some sleep.



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